gmail = nudie pictures
Apr 14th 2006 03:59:48 pm
The following post is a long, somewhat complicated story, and some of you may have heard it before . . . but I think it is funny enough that it needs to be shared with the internet. Also, grandmas and other sensitive readers who do not want to read the word penis, please stop now, because this story necessitates the use of that word. Intriguing, no?
When I realized that Travis was the man that I wanted to marry, only one thing made me uneasy: his last name. Johnson is a very common last name. It is not that I don’t like Johnson, but I was born with a unique and kinda cute last name and I did not want to become just one more of the tousands of Rachel Johnsons in the world. Travis assured me that taking his name was a good thing – no one ever asked you how to spell it, it is all-American, and he didn’t think I would run into any problems. So, my name is now Rachel Johnson (although not technically with Social Security, yet), and that name is the root and cause of the entire story recounted here.
The basic problem is that I am getting another Rachel Johnson’s emails. Travis wrote about the problem when it first started. It is very complicated and I am not going to explain the whole situation, but Travis wrote to Google and I wrote to the other Rachel to explain the problem, but neither parties seemed too concerned.
This problem started in January. I have been getting this other girl’s emails and forwarding them to her for the last three months. I have forwarded over 400 emails! I have written to ask her if she gets the emails twice, once to her account regularly and once from me, but she didn’t seem to understand the question.
At first I didn’t look at any of the emails except by accident when I thought they were really for me. I would forward them on without peeking. Then she got an email re: modeling oportunities. Being a jealous girl, I wanted to see what type of modeling the other Rachel Johnsonn was doing. I opened it and clicked on a link to some example photographs that the modeling agency wanted her to send in of herself. The link took me to some very tacky, unprofessional photos of girls in thongs and push-up bras posing all over their houses. One was on an area rug that looked like the seal of the US Naval Forces. One was leaning against a giant fish tank. “Poor girl,” I thought, “she is getting into a crappy side of modeling,” but I forwarded the email anyway.
This first peek led to even more peeking . . .
The other Rachel Johnson is heavily involved in those “business oportunities” that promise you can make 10k a month from your home. She is involved in all sorts of adclick campaigns and pyramid schemes. It is kinda sad, but none of that is the juicy part. The juicy part is that she has an Italian lover! A real Itallian dude that sends her love emails every single day! He says things like: “I send you one kiss only, but so long, sweet and deep to leave you breathless” and “I need you Rachel, like the water into the desert” and “I just let me lull dreaming of you, your hands on my body, your sweet voice, all your care for me” and many more sweet things in slightly clunky English. The weird thing is that the dude talks about Rachel’s husband, and her daughter, and his wife. So . . . maybe they are just overly friendly emails, right? I had to read more to determine the situation.
Now, don’t get mad at me. I don’t read them all, only ones with particularly intriguing subject lines like re: my wife wants your opinion. “Surely,” I think, “if his wife wants her opinion on something the two can’t be having an affair!” And I opened the email. It started with something like: “Since you are such a lovely model my wife wants to know what you think about these.” I scroll down a bit . . . and there on my computer, in my email inbox, is a NAKED photo of a forty-something Italian women with her boobies all out and in my face! The email contained about six photos of her naked in different poses on her dirty white sofa.
Now this whole email confusion problem was starting to get bizarre!
I showed Travis the photos, and he told me to stop showing him because it was grossing him out. I told my mom about the photos, and she said it is probably a joke because people think that I am shy. I wrote a big, bold note to the other Rachel at the top of the forwarded nudie email saying that she might want to tell the Italian dude that his emails are being sent to an intermediary . . . she never responded. BUT, I know that she still gets my forwarded emails because sometimes she mistakenly replies to me instead of the person who wrote the email. So, I continue to forward them. I also stopped reading the emails because Travis set up an automatic fowarding system that dumps all of the emails in a mail box separate than my regular inbox.
Well, the other night I just thought I should check on the other Rachel Johnson inbox just to see if the rate of emails was decreasing or if she had gotten anything interesting. There were a bunch of emails from the Italian dude at the top of the “pile” that all said “a photo for you,” or some variation, in the subject line. I clicked on the first one. The italian guy said he had been feeling sick and he included a photo of himself at work looking all sad. I clicked on the second one. The Italian guy said that he wanted to send something funny and he included a photo of himself in rabbit ears. How cute! I clicked on the third one. The third one just had photos. All of them were of the italian guy without a shirt, wearing dress pants and suspenders, sitting in different poses around his house. Weird. I should have stopped there. The fourth email started with a photo of the Italian guy leaning over his dirty white sofa with his penis hanging out! yes, PENIS! Not an errect penis, just a tiny, little flacid penis . . . and he still had on the pants and suspenders! The rest of the photos in the email were of him is his underwear doing naughty things. In one he is holding a fake potted plant in front of himself. In another he replaced the plant with a tea kettle. In the last one he is leaning against an Abercrombie & Fitch poster with his hand down his little tighty-whities . . .
So now I have an inbox full of some dude’s crappy erotic photography on my computer!
What should I do? Keep forwarding her email? Just delete it as it comes in? Keep forwarding it, but stop reading it? I hope the feds don’t come after me for tampering with someone else’s email! The strangest part about this whole thing is that she has emails from the Family Christian Bookstore interspersed with all the gross, nudie emails.
At least we can all take a lesson from this story: don’t send crappy naked photos of yourself to your friends over Gmail – they may end up in the wrong hands! (I really really really wanted to post the photos, but I restrained myself out of fear of being sued.)
18 Comments » Categories: Just for Fun
holly on 14 Apr 2006 at 4:46 pm #
omg! just delete them or change YOUR email address!
P1 on 14 Apr 2006 at 6:08 pm #
I have this theory that someday everyone’s last name will be Johnson.
Libby on 14 Apr 2006 at 6:17 pm #
This is spam! Just delete them and change your e-mail address. I am really surprised that Gmail hasn’t done anything about this. I don’t think those e-mails are going to another Rachel Johnson. I think they are all intended for you and that italian guy is the other Rachel Johnson.
adam on 14 Apr 2006 at 6:55 pm #
forward them to me… except the dude pics.
adam on 14 Apr 2006 at 8:21 pm #
haha, i was kidding. gross.
P1 on 15 Apr 2006 at 3:35 am #
I think I figured out why I am getting so much spam on my Roundrock blog. In a vain effort to increase my traffic, I added my blog to a directory called Globe of Blogs. It’s a place where I had first found a number of the blogs I visit regularly. Shortly after mine was listed, the spam came pouring in. I was getting an average of 100 spam comments per hour at one point, and while it has waned since then, it still comes at a varying pace.
I fear that your email address is now blighted. I don’t know if you’ll ever be free of this spam assault. I think Holly may be correct. Maybe you should just unload that old address and start fresh.
Quakewatcher on 15 Apr 2006 at 9:21 am #
I think you should delete all the wrong ones….She has no reason to try to fix her account, because she hasn’t suffered by not getting her mail. If she notices that she isn’t getting her mail, finally, maybe she will take steps to remedy the situation.
Mari on 15 Apr 2006 at 5:57 pm #
What? I never get any nudie shots of Italian guys in suspenders! Damn, all the good ones are taken already! Sadness!
Anni on 15 Apr 2006 at 6:37 pm #
OMG! You’ve been kind and considerate to keep forwarding them, even without her response. I would suggest just refraining from forwarding and delete the ones that don’t pertain to you. The other RJ had her chance to correct the matter. Why is it upon you and Travis to clean up the mess? There’s got to be some accountability. You don’t need this Italian’s Johnson on your, ahem, shoulders.
Start fresh…how difficult is it to set up a new email address? Travis is your “go to” guy.
Too freaky….
Heidi on 15 Apr 2006 at 7:10 pm #
Delete ‘em. “She’s” had her chance. Can Trav just set it up so that they go in to the trash folder? Or can he block them?
jen on 16 Apr 2006 at 9:24 am #
oh my god the possibilities are endless. you should figure out a way to post them on some off shot of your url. this could be halarious. you could set up a fake account on myspace with the pictures, set up fake profiles on dating sites with the pictures. i know that if these were in my hands they’d be in the WRONG hands cause i’d have to share them ALL OVER THE INTERNET. because of the following reasons:
1. you’ve been too nice about it for months
2. she doesn’t seem to ever care
that’s it the last reason is the deal breaker. she doesn’t care. i bet she’d care real fast if those were up on myspcace or something. WAIT did you look for her on myspace? she probably has all those pictures of herself up there.
anyways i think you should exploit exploit exploit in some funny way..cause you’ve been too nice and she obviously doesn’t care other people are getting them.
melanie on 16 Apr 2006 at 12:32 pm #
i totally agree with jen!
melanie on 17 Apr 2006 at 8:50 am #
don’t forward them!!!! delete them, report them as spam, and if it doesn’t stop just change your email address. you’ve done all you can do…i also have a common name and have have received other “melanie brown’s” email but the others have ALWAYS been responsive and apologetic. Also, don’t open the emails any more–especially the ones with attachments and links, who knows who these people are0– they are shady at best!!!
G2 on 18 Apr 2006 at 4:56 am #
don’t worry, be happy.
Jenn on 18 Apr 2006 at 6:09 pm #
I would totally exploit her. She has no basis to sue…she should OBVIOUSLY know that you’re getting these emails. Oh man, that is kinda funny. I’m sorry…it is definitely gross. But I did laugh out loud while I was reading this post.
Aimee Roo on 27 Apr 2006 at 9:32 am #
Oh my!!! That is really funny and creepy, and so many other words as well. I don’t know what I would do, probably stop forwarding and just delete them. She obviously doesn’t care enough about getting her mail to do anything about it.
Thanks for not posting the photos though, I don’t know if my breakfast would have stayed down.
Travis Johnson on 02 May 2006 at 7:38 am #
I don’t think Johnson is too bad of a last name – of course, I’m a little biased. And for that matter, Travis is a pretty good first name. I personally know at least 5 Travis Johnsons (myself and your husband included – although, I don’t really know him, just check out his blog on a somewhat stalkerish basis.)
I am a little disappointed that I don’t mistakenly get nudie pictures that were meant for him.
Mandi on 29 May 2006 at 12:47 pm #
I know it sounds wrong, but I’m kind of curiouis about the pictures, lol I think it’s funny that you look at them, I would too, if they were in my mail box. this story really made me laugh!