So…. I read this article today. It is sort of about “mommy blogging,” but more specifically about a subset of female bloggers that happen to be Mormon and sort of happen to be perfect in every way. Perfect in every way on their blogs, any way.
I don’t really care for the predictable arguing that results from this type of article and plays out in its comments (“religious people are simple-minded” “nuh uh. liberals and feminists are jerks” …that sort of thing), but I can relate to a lot of the feelings expressed in the article, like how some more mainstream parenting blogs “make parenthood seem like a vale of judgment and anxiety,” and if the more perfect bloggers can “help women like me envision a life in which marriage and motherhood could potentially be something other than a miserable, soul-destroying trap, I say, ‘Right on.'” But that is not what I wanted to post about… I wanted to post about my low self esteem.
Do you think some people are fundamentally just better than others? I know that a blog is a curated view of a person’s life and that no one’s life is perfect, but some of these blogging women are just too much to handle. (And not just cheery mormons — the perfect woman comes in all types! Like her, and her, and her, and her, and her, and so many more I must stop myself before I go crazy.) Their perfection makes me depressed. How can they have a beautiful house, perfect clothes (some of which they make themselves and others that they carefully collected from adorable vintage boutiques), beautiful children and/or a fab career, home baked cakes, cute crafts, peppy parties, hipster husbands, and cute thick-rimmed eyeglasses, etc etc etc… plus, the lovely design sense, writing skill, and photography prowess to make it all look fantastic on the internet? I mean, I try. I’ve been blogging for over seven years, but I can’t make my life look that good.
It’s like on Star Trek — everything in life relates back to Star Trek, obvs — only the best got into Starfleet Academy. And everyone in Starfleet Academy was uniquely perfect in their own way. Of course, they were all physically and mentally superior to their peers, but they also had unique and intellectual hobbies, like horticulture or playing concertos on the violin, and they read Shakesphere or did Tai Chi in their spare time. I know, I know. Star Trek is just a tv show. But that is how I feel about these perfect lady bloggers. They are in Starfleet and I am just some lame colonist trying to scrape out an existence on some distant desert planet. ugh. I’m nearly 30. Shouldn’t I have grown beyond all of this self doubt and jealousy?
Speaking of turning 30, what else do I need for my party? These are the things I have planned so far:
Sounds like a party to me! (whew. That cheered me up a bit.)